Relationship Jokes

Marriage Jokes
Husband to wife: I can start fire with my songs.
His wife remarked, 'Ok. The gas has finished! First just ignite the gas stove!'
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Marriage Jokes
Wife: Without your glasses,you look like the same tall, dark n
handsome young man I maried.
Husband: Widout my glasses, u luk prety gud 2!
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Marriage Jokes
What will u do if I got lost in d crowd asked a wife.The husband-I will give an advt in the newspaper-'Please remain happy, wherever u are.'
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Husband:I've found a great job. A 10 am start,2 pm finish, no overtime, no weekends n it pays
RS.6000 a week!
Wife:ats gr8.
Husband:Yeah! U start on Monday.
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WISECRACKS
1. Quick death: Take a big rope,tie it around ur neck n hang urself.
2. Slow death: Take a small rope, tie it around a girl's neck n marry her.
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MARRIAGE JOKES
Its my wife's b'day 2mrw.Wen I askd her wat she wantd as gift she said 'Just giv me sumthn wid diamonds.So I'm giving her a pack f playing cards
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Seeing her friend Rohit washng his wife's clothes,Rani askd him:'Rohit wat is this?Y r u washing ur wife's clothes?'
Rohit-So wat?Even she helps me in cooking.
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Always keep a pic of ur lover in ur wallet...
Look at it wen u r in trouble....
U wil realise that other problems r not as big as this one.........,!!!!
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Patni=Agr Mai Gum Ho Gai To Tum Kya Karoge?
Pati=Its The Time To Disco
<('.') /"/>
_/"\_
Kon Dhundega Tujh Ko
Kabhi Na Mile Tu Muz ko
its the time 2 disco.
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Husband- Where's yesterday's newspaper?
Wife- I wrapped the garbage in it.
Husband- O, I wanted to see it.
Wife- It was nothing. Just junk n orange peel.
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Husband-'When we got married, you promised to love, honour and obey me.' 'Wife- 'I know. But I didn't want to start an argument in front of all those people.'
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My wife and I took out life insurance policies on each other. So now it's just a WAITING GAME.
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Husband 2 wife- Who says I hate your relatives. In fact, I like your mother-in-law better than mine..
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FUN
HEIGHTS of mixed emotions?
Your mother-in-law driving over a steep cliff in your brand new car.
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D boy luked at his mother's fur coat n remarked, 'How tat poor animal must ve suffered so u cud ve tat coat.' Mother 'Quiet,' Don't talk abt ur father that way.
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Friend 2 another,'My wife goes to her parents,after a quarrel with me'.The other said,'That is nothing! My wife,after a quarrel,bring her parents to my house!'
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Husband n Wife Jokes
Wife-Dear look since u call me up by my name,our son has also started calling me by my name! The husbn said, 'Then should I call u MUMMY?'
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Husband-You will never succeed in making that dog obey u.
Wife-Its a matter of patience, I had a lot of trouble with you at first
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Wife- The cake I made for you? I left it on the table, and the dog ate it.
Husband- Don't worry, I will get you another dog.
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