Funny SMS & Jokes Collection

बंता:संता सिंह जी!..ये खड्डा किसलिए खोदा जा रहा है?"

संता:ओ!..कुछ नहीं जी मुझे अमेरिका जाना है ना...इसलिए"

बंता:अमेरिका जाना है?"

संता:हाँ जी!.."

बंता:अमेरिका जाने के लिए खड्डा खोदना जरूरी है?

संता:ओ!..कर दी ना तूने अनाडियों वाली गल्ल...

बेवाकूफ पॉसपोर्ट बनवाने के लिए फोटो चाहिए होती है कि नहीं?

बंता:फोटो तो चाहिए होती है लेकिन...फोटो से खड्डे का क्या कनैक्शन है?

संता:अरे बेवाकूफ!पॉसपोर्ट फोटो में कमर के ऊपर का हिस्सा आना चाहिए...

इसलिए कमर तक गहरे खड्डे खोद रहा हूँ ताकि नीचे का हिस्सा कैमरे में न आए

बंता:लेकिन यहाँ तो आप आलरैडी तीन खड्डे पहले ही खोद चुके हो...फिर ये चौथा क्यों?

संता:बेवकूफ पॉसपोर्ट में चार फोटो लगानी पडती हैँ"
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Pagal khane me sare Pagal dance kar rahe the. 2 pagal khamosh baithe the. DR.ko lga ye theek ho gaye.. DR:tum chup kyu ho? Pagal: Shh..hum to Dulha-dulhan hain.
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Santa: Yaar Ans sheet par sabse phle kya likhu?
Banta: Yhi k IS SHEET PAR LIKHE GYE ANS KALPNIK He JINKA KISI B BOOK SE KOI SMBANDH NAHI Hai:-)
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Jung me Sardar ne bullet proof jacket ki jagah
Macher dani pehan li
Major-Aisa Q.
Sardar-Jis me macher nai
ghus Sakta us me goli kaise Ghusegi....;
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1 sharabi roz shiv mandir mien sir tekta tha, 1 din pujari ne shiv k jagah Ganesh ki murti rakhi, Sharabi aya sir teka bola chotu..papa se bolna uncle aye the.!
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Biwi ko thappad marne k baad PATI BOLA- admi use hi marta h,jise wo pyar karta hai.Biwi ne bhi 2-4 thappad mare or boli-Aap kya smjhte ho,mai apse pyar nhi karti.
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*.SSC + HSC + BMS/BBA + MBA = UNEMPLOYMENT

An Idea + An Idiot = A Dotcom

Sushmita Sen - 2.2 feet > Salman Khan

Special Effects in Shampoo ads > Special effects in Jurassic park

4 weeks in Switzerland + London + New Zealand = 4 minute song in Bollywood

One engagement +Two wedding +Three wedding songs + Four hundred relatives +A house bigger than Buckingham Palace = One Sooraj Barjataya Film

Ajay Devgan + cosmetic surgery + acting ability + personality + own production company = Kajol

Rona dhona x Bewafai x Badle ki aag = Your mum's favourite serials

Star Movies - Rerun + Good Movies = HBO

Amitabh Bachchan - Mrityudaata + Kaun Banega Crorepati = A SUPERSTAR

Amitabh Bachchan + Jaya Bachchan = Abhishek Bachchan - Talent
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*.*Doctor **: Ab aapki tabiyat kaisi hai. **

Patient : **Doctor saheb Pehle se jyada kharab ho gayi hai.**

Doctor : **dawai khali thi kya?**

Patient :** Nai doctor saheb. dawai ki shishi to bhari hui thi.**

Doctor : **Are Sir ji mere kehne ka matlab hai ki, dawai le li thi
kya.**

Patient : **Ji, aapne dawai de di thi aur maine le li thi.**

Doctor: **Abe, dawai pili thi kya?**

Patient :** Oho, nai doctor saheb dawai to lal thi.**

Doctor :** Abe GADHE, Dawai ko piliya tha kya?**

Patient :** Nai. Doctor, Piliya to mujhe tha.**

Doctor( in frustration) :** Abe teri to, Dawai ko muh lagakar Pet me
dala
tha k nai?**

Patient :** Nai doctor saheb.**

Doctor : **Kyon?**

Patient :** Kyonki dhakkan band tha.**

Doctor :** Teri sale, to Khola kyon nai.**

Patient :** Saheb, aapne hi to kaha tha ki, shishi ka dhakkan band
rakhna.**

Doctor : **Tera ilaz main nai kar sakta.!**

Patient : **Accha Doctor saheb ye to bata do ki main thik kaise
hounga***
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A jatt, 'who was learning how to speak English', introduces his family at a party,
"Hi ! I am a JAT,
This is my JATNI,
He is my KID,
&
She is my KIDNEY".
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Custmar - ji lassi me makkhi hai.
Dhabewala sardar - oye dil bada rakh ,.... ye nanhi si jaan teri kitni lassi pee jayegi. Kanjoos kahi ka.....
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@Aaj Mene 1 Jaan Bachai Mene 1 Ldke Se Pucha Agar I LOVE U KahuTo Kya Kroge @ Ldka:Kushi se Mar Jaunga @ Maine Kaha:Ja Nhi Kehti JeeLe Apni jindgi.
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HIGHT OF CUTENES Child 2 d Sales Grl in a Swets Shop: Wil u marry me wen i grw up? Girl smild n said:Ys Child:Can u giv ur Future Husbnd a free Chocolate...
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Santa ki beti : papa kal apke ghr se ek member kam ho jaega.
Nxt day santa ki beti bhag jati hai.
Santa: ladki ne kam to galat kiya par thi wo jyotishi ...
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Sahukar apni Biwi se-HATA lo apne chehre se yeh Zulfein ae
jaan-e-tamanna.
KHUDA KASAM
Agli baar Khaane mein baal AAYA to SAJNI se GAJNI bana dunga!
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